About Us
Our Boat
Launched in 2004, the NBS Gritty’s Lament* spent 20 years plying the turbulent waters of the Lake Michigan as a fishing boat. It has only recently been repurposed for Chiditaline Tours, so just remember that if you smell anything fishy, that is just a little part of history! At over one (1) meter long, this beautiful vessel is one of the largest fake tour boats in the Greater Chicago area today! (*Due to a recent lawsuit with Philly, we are in the process of renaming the boat.)
Our Tour Guides
Chiditaline Tours takes great pride in our team of knowledgeable guides who have all completed a mandatory two hour training course on topics ranging widely from Frank Lloyd Wright to how to have smart sounding opinions about Frank Lloyd Wright. Each of them also knows, we are certain, at least a few facts about the Sears Tower! Or is it Willis? You’ll just have to purchase one of our reasonably priced tours to find out!
Sunk Cost Gift Shop
After your tour, we encourage you to take a trip through our world class gift shop. You already spent a fortune on the tour, why not drop a few extra bucks on some Chicago themed tat?
A few things we’re great at
Our four step motto, TOUR, ensures an unforgettable experience for our patrons, and we are so excited to have you with us!
TOUR represents the four pillars and our four greatest strengths in providing a unique Chicago Architecture Boat Tour. T is for Training. We take our mandatory two hour training course seriously and require all tour guides google at least one new fact about a building before each tour. O is for On-board. To date, we have not had a single tourist fall overboard. U is for Unknowable. As Socrates said, we know we are the most knowledgeable tour guides because we are the only ones who know we know nothing. R is for Right-before-a-bridge-look-up. We guarantee that we check every bridge for tour buses before going under them to help grant you a cleaner, safer journey!
This is a sea gull.
Not a bagel. Or a bay gull. Please don’t feed these while on the tour, or the trip may take a bad tern.
Our team
Catherine O’Leary
CEO
Horatio Magellan Crunch
Boat Cap’n
Crank Lloyd Wright
cFo
Ariel Speedwagon
Human Mermaid Relations
Secret Spot
If you find this section on Mar 2nd, 2024 before fundraising ends and tell Pocket, then they will donate $5 to the Chicago Food Depository (up to a total of $100)
Testimonials
Of the tens of people who have enjoyed a Chiditaline Tour, some of them enjoyed it! Here are just a few of the few people who have learned something new on a Chiditaline Tour!
If there is one thing I can say about the Chiditaline Tour, it’s that the boat didn’t sink. I’m not sure if anything they said about Chicago is true, but there is nothing like getting to skip a whole water level!
Mario M.
Gloriously absent of those cursed flamingos and a boat that is just my size! I’ll be recommending it to all my friends. I do wish the gift store stocked pointed hats, but loved the temporary back tattoos!
David G.
This tour was a slam dunk. The tour guides were older than usual which I assume means they are wiser. It also seems to mean that when they try to think of a Chicago celebrity to put here, they can only think of the likes of me? Five stars.
michael J.
Genuinely fascinated at nearly every point. If even half of the rather wild claims the tour guide made are close to true, it would show Chicago to be a very magical place. I only wish they would update their extended warranty.
